Saturday, July 4, 2009

Don't Get to Used to Anything

Life is always changing and if you don't like it, well. Too bad, you better just change your attitude.

I thought it felt different to visiting my daughter in her first apartment. Somehow, when we visited her dorm room last year, it felt more normal. That is just a room. This is a declared home for her. It is good. Just different.

And oh what a great little nest maker she is. She and her sweet boyfriend painted as they moved in and chose contemporary colors and made the time to do it immediately, unlike me and her Dad who are still trying to choose a color for our bedroom after about 15 years. No use rushing it.

She is living in an old apartment close to the journalism building and has a job a the Alumni Magazine that fits her well. She is finding her way and I am very proud of her.

And, I just realized she will only be a teenager for one more year. Seems impossible and possible.

Change. I like it. It is exciting whether it is your kids, moving, and doing or traveling or even your career. The unknown can scare us a little.
And the "what ifs" are even worse. The "what ifs" are a large tribe that hides in the back of your head and points to possible disasters that could happen, likely or not. They keep us from experimenting and doing new things. They are alarmists as well.
And then there is the getting lost thing. Heaven forbid if it is true that as we grow older our present fears increase. Lost. Maps. Where?
I am always getting lost in my dreams. I am usually in a foreign land getting ready to leave for another place and I am not packed and cannot find my way. Maybe there is some unconscious level of being afraid of change as well. And of course, I always have too much "baggage" to take with me.

I think I like change and I don't want to be afraid to "get out there and try it."

Every time we have moved for my husband's professor job, not that often recently, we have made a conscious effort to look closely at the job and community. We choose carefully and then guess what? It changes. The neighborhood changes, the neighbors change, the faculty changes. So, I just get used to it.
I heard several years ago the average American moves every 4 years. It is probably a good idea so we don't accumulate too much stuff because of America's favorite pastime, shopping. Too late, I have not moved in about 15 years. I'm doomed.

I find it very scary when I look around my 16 years of accumulated stuff in my house. Will I ever be able to move again? Will I have to pick all these items up one at a time and decide if I still want them and what to do with them? I did it at my pottery shop and survived and need to do it again. But, I would rather just make more pots. Oh the luxury of having too much stuff. Can that keep us from changing too?

I look around Rachel's new apartment. So far, so good. Not too much stuff. She will be OK.

Adaptable, flexible, disposable, mobile, immobile, changeable. Those are words that might make life easier. And, of course, those could change any time.

No comments:

Post a Comment