Sunday, September 14, 2008

Little Miss Snotty Reviews Branson

The main drag

Slow traffic

Tourist attractions?

The hotel where we did not stay.

Branson is like a white gated vacation community. It is not the melting pot of America. We looked hard to find any black people. We saw 4. Two tourists and two locals. I don't think I saw any Hispanics and of course there were a few Asian tourists.
We were alternative because we did not want waffles for breakfast. The breakfast server, a mannered white woman seemed shocked that we did not each want a waffle and not even want to split a waffle. The coffee was brown but weak. There was powdered coffee whitener on our table.
I don't think a whole foods market would do well there.
It reminded me of Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. Slow traffic, cars full of rubberneckers, water parks, go cart tracks, flashing lights and yellow and orange buildings. Walmart and tourists who probably don't walk much because they are a bit chunky. Steak houses and not many sidewalks.
I am prejudice about these kind of places. I know it. If you are from a small town with no interesting plays, movies or galleries, this could be fun. And it was clean, very very clean. And it was safe, very very safe.
It is not innovative, original or enlightening. I confess, I have stereotyped this place. I did not go to any shows or even eat there except for the motel breakfast. I did read their local paper as we drove out of town. It projected a corniness and was written with "dats" and "dem" and "thur's." There were way to many pictures of skits of older men pretending to be hillbillies. It reminded me of guys who never got over boy scout skits. Ugh.

The motel was not a chain and it was clean and reasonably priced. The drive from I44 to Branson was very pretty. It reminded me of the foothills of Tennessee or maybe even the rolling hills in southern Indiana along the Ohio river. We drove out to the dam to see the lake and that was lovely as well. It is easy to see why that was a natural spot for people to want to create a tourist community.

Will I go back even with a free room offer? Probably not.

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